“Words as weapons sharper than knives
Makes you wonder how the other half die”
INXS “Devil Inside”
“Do you lose sleep at night
Do you ever stop to think
Where it went wrong for you
Who turned your reds to blue
Who put those tiny daggers in your heart”
INXS “Tiny Daggers”
As men it is hard for us to completely understand the way a women thinks, how her emotions work. (That’s no revelation.)
Now think about how a maturing woman, a girl, understands it. We are still behind.
So, how do we as fathers try to help in raising our daughter when we don’t even understand how she works?
One of the obvious ways is our words.
Are your words positive?
Are your words encouraging?
Are your words edifying?
Are your words full of life?
Or do your words breathe death, killing her spirit and happiness from within?
We can build up our daughters with praise and encouraging words every day. There should always be an “I love you” spoken to your daughter before the sun goes down. There should be an acknowledgement of goods deeds and actions. Condolences for let downs. And make sure you answer her multitude of questions with a smile (unless you are six hours into a road trip, then ask to play the quiet game). And you need to be asking questions of her. Engage.
Your words let your daughter know you are paying attention to her life. Your words show her there is a relationship between you. It is the quality of the words that tells her what kind of relationship you want it to be. Hopefully, it is a nurturing relationship. Not controlling, narcissistic, passive or indifferent.
Now, I am not saying make up stuff and act like everything is OK, when it might not be. That is when how we speak is important.
I’m one of the black & white type of thinkers. I can be short and blunt. My wife has repeated these words to me several times, “it’s not what you say it’s how you say it.”
Yes, your daughter needs to be disciplined at times, but not belittled and frightened.
Watch your tone and if you have a big voice like me, watch the volume.
Don’t be sarcastic or demeaning.
Never call her a name, those daggers will lodge in her tender heart.
Your words will be remembered. Make them good memories.
(As my wife proofed this, she gave me the raised eyebrow, letting me know I need to be paying attention to my own words, written and spoken.)
Makes you wonder how the other half die”
INXS “Devil Inside”
“Do you lose sleep at night
Do you ever stop to think
Where it went wrong for you
Who turned your reds to blue
Who put those tiny daggers in your heart”
INXS “Tiny Daggers”
As men it is hard for us to completely understand the way a women thinks, how her emotions work. (That’s no revelation.)
Now think about how a maturing woman, a girl, understands it. We are still behind.
So, how do we as fathers try to help in raising our daughter when we don’t even understand how she works?
One of the obvious ways is our words.
Are your words positive?
Are your words encouraging?
Are your words edifying?
Are your words full of life?
Or do your words breathe death, killing her spirit and happiness from within?
We can build up our daughters with praise and encouraging words every day. There should always be an “I love you” spoken to your daughter before the sun goes down. There should be an acknowledgement of goods deeds and actions. Condolences for let downs. And make sure you answer her multitude of questions with a smile (unless you are six hours into a road trip, then ask to play the quiet game). And you need to be asking questions of her. Engage.
Your words let your daughter know you are paying attention to her life. Your words show her there is a relationship between you. It is the quality of the words that tells her what kind of relationship you want it to be. Hopefully, it is a nurturing relationship. Not controlling, narcissistic, passive or indifferent.
Now, I am not saying make up stuff and act like everything is OK, when it might not be. That is when how we speak is important.
I’m one of the black & white type of thinkers. I can be short and blunt. My wife has repeated these words to me several times, “it’s not what you say it’s how you say it.”
Yes, your daughter needs to be disciplined at times, but not belittled and frightened.
Watch your tone and if you have a big voice like me, watch the volume.
Don’t be sarcastic or demeaning.
Never call her a name, those daggers will lodge in her tender heart.
Your words will be remembered. Make them good memories.
(As my wife proofed this, she gave me the raised eyebrow, letting me know I need to be paying attention to my own words, written and spoken.)
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