Your Pedestal

ped•es•tal \ˈpe-dəs-təl\ (merriam-webster.com)
1 a: the support or foot of a late classic or neoclassic column b: the base of an upright structure
2: BASE, FOUNDATION
3: a position of esteem


I heard someone say once that you can’t hide on your pedestal forever, because your kids will pull (push or knock) you off.

What that means to me…Be open, honest and vulnerable with your children. Let them know your feelings, your hurts, your happiness, your disappointments and your love.

I’m not talking about cheering when the SEC wins another football championship…(Or sobbing when Ohio State can’t win the big game outside the Big 10.) …But sharing troubles at work, friendship issues, physical pain, disagreements with your wife and how you deal with the other issues life throws at you. I am not saying your girls need full disclosure and gory details. I am sure they can already tell something is wrong. Don’t let their minds wander toward fear. Let them know the truth and how you plan to solve the problem.

A friend told me his stepdaughter, now in her mid 20s cannot tolerate any type of fighting between people. She will actually leave a restaurant if someone a few tables away is having a minor argument. He told me, her biological father never showed his feelings about anything, which now makes her supersensitive to any display of emotion—good or bad.

If you want your daughter to grow up “well adjusted” she needs to know it is OK to cry (except in baseball), to laugh, to love and, yes, even to fail.

Don’t hide your failures from her. Talk about it. Don’t hide it—especially when it comes to parenting. Realize at some point in your role as a father you will have to apologize to her for your actions, reactions and flat out wrong behavior. Put your big-boy pants on and say these words… “I’m sorry.”

Those words could be the best show of humility she will ever see from the man who is trying to teach it. She needs to see you are willing admit what she (and your wife) already knows. She will forgive you.